


Changing Factor

by Shinocchi



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gap Filler, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-22
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2017-12-27 07:41:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinocchi/pseuds/Shinocchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This fic attempts to fill in the three months gap a.k.a. the disappearing period of Noiz.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Discernment

It never failed to amaze him every time he opened his eyes to the gentle sunlight penetrating through the thin curtain layers. It didn't matter if it was day or night. The moment he felt the slight heat burning on his legs, he felt alive.

"It's your fault," he said to the person who gave him this life. But at that time, his sole intention was to make the person take this responsibility. That was the only thing that mattered to him.

The said person was now sitting beside him as he told him a story of how he received a weird call from a customer asking for a tea pot this morning. He switched his attention from that sparrow on the porch to the blue-haired man who was now looking slightly annoyed for the lacked of attention.

Before Aoba can ask what was wrong with him, Noiz reached out and touched the tip of his wavy, messy long hair. Aoba jumped a little at this suddenly interaction, his scowl disappeared instantly.

"Still hurt? Your hair," Noiz asked, carefully pinching Aoba's hair tip.

"I still feel a bit of tinges but it's not as strong as last time anymore," Aoba replied, putting his hand on the back of the rough one still playing with the tip.

"I see," Noiz responded simply. Letting go of Aoba's hair, he buried his hand under the pile of blues and felt Aoba's smooth, now exposed neck.

Aoba shivered. Smirking, Noiz inputted more strength and pulled Aoba over for a gentle kiss on the lips. Aoba - although prepared for this - pushed Noiz back a little but gave in when Noiz started stroking his cheekbones.

Surprisingly, Noiz did not take things further this time. He ended the kiss with a light lick on Aoba's lips and retreated back to his bed.

"What?" Noiz seemed to be more interested with the rabbit-shaped apple pieces Aoba cut for him. His attention shifted back to Aoba the moment he realized Aoba was staring at him.

"Nothing." Aoba said as he averted Noiz's gaze.

Trying to act natural, he picked up a magazine from the bedside table and mindlessly flipped through it.

"Expecting more?" Noiz eyed Aoba with a smirk, only to receive a "shut up!" smack on the head by a frustrated but red-faced Aoba.

 

-——————————————————

 

He had nothing left to pack. Without feeling the need to confirm, Noiz sat at the corner of his bed as he ran through different possibilities in his mind. He hadn't been thinking so hard for a very long time. And the fact that he was taking this so seriously reassured him that this was serious. This was the thing.

A soft knock on the door and Aoba was seen hurrying into the room. Noiz gave him a small smile, and the next thing he knew Aoba was circling around the room, checking on every corner then grabbed Noiz's backpack along with his wrist out of the room. Noiz can clearly feels Aoba's warmth now. The grip on his wrist was not particularly strong, but the firmness was real. He knew.

 

———————————————————

 

Noiz felt his world changed the moment he stepped out of the hospital building. His world used to filled with thoughts of how to get something for himself out of others. But now, he was genuinely curious about everything and anything - from the small food stall in the dark backyard to the out-of-shape building along the street. These are things he used to see everyday. They were all useless things. He didn't have the time to entertain all these stuff when he already had so much on his mind.

But now, he was curious. How does that bowl of soup tastes like? Sweet? Hot? Bitter? What does that out-of-shape building store? Is it a shop? What kind of shop? Noiz found himself thinking a lot more often than he used to. So when Aoba brought him to a small dessert shop three days after he was discharged from the hospital, he realized that his overflowing thoughts started conquering his speech, often leaving Aoba with a worried face spelling "are you _really_ okay?"

Noiz had grown accustomed to Aoba's existence. In fact, he had become so used to the elder's existence he often felt out of place when he was alone. His apartment felt too big now; his meal too much. He ended up constantly trying out other food (but still stuck with his daily pizza and pasta). And after one month attempting to adapt to these unfamiliar changes, he finally realized that there were things that needed to be done. And if this was what he decided to do, there was no need to waste any more time.


	2. Drift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This fic attempts to fill in the three months loop a.k.a. the disappearing period of Noiz. Noiz-ccentric.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long. Self-beta'd.

Noiz slowed down his pace after a while, allowing the small-sized man under him to catch some breath. While Aoba was trying hard to stabilize his breathing, Noiz reached out and stroked his cheek, causing Aoba to turn his misty gaze towards him. No words were necessary to explain the hidden meaning behind these simple interactions. Ever since Noiz regained his sense, he started to develop this small habit to touch Aoba out of the blue. The way he examined the texture of Aoba's skin was so tender Aoba often commented as if Noiz was feeling his first toy in his life in a touching way. 

"......What?" Aoba stared into Noiz's fixed stare, feeling his face burned when Noiz responded by planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Love you." 

"W-Wha....ah!" Noiz started pounding into Aoba with brutal force, sending Aoba's unspoken frustration into thin air. He thought he saw Noiz's eyes flickered with uncertainty but before he got the chance to verify his doubts, the pleasure of Noiz's piercings slipping in and out of him melted his questions into ecstasy.

"N-Noiz! I... can't.... gonna....." Aoba reflexively reached out and wrapped his hands around Noiz's neck as he bit back the temptation to sink his teeth into his shoulder.

Feeling himself at the edge, Noiz pulled Aoba's hands away from his neck and hungrily indulged his mouth. Both of their tongues intertwined and Aoba moaned into Noiz's mouth. The grip of Aoba's hands on Noiz's shoulders tightened - which Noiz was pretty sure new bruises will appear the next morning - as Noiz slipped one hand down to Aoba's cock and pressed into the slit.

"Ah! Noiz! No... ahhhhh!" The sudden huge wave of pleasure rushed into him, sending electric shocks throughout his body. Aoba broke his mouth free from Noiz's and screamed, splurting white semen all over them. Noiz tightened his grip on Aoba's cock when he came, instantly feeling Aoba's inside tighten. With a few more thrusts, Noiz released, almost the same time as Aoba. 

Aoba was still catching his breath when Noiz gently lied his head down on the pillow. His eyes were closed, tiny drops of tears glittering at the side of his eyes. Noiz pulled him over and hugged his head as he listened to the steady, slow breathing beside his ears. 

"Aoba?" The only response he received was Aoba's grunts as he rolled sideways, facing away from Noiz.

Noiz proceeded to hugging Aoba from behind (earning another grunt from Aoba). He gently planted a kiss on Aoba's earlobe, hugging him closer in the same time.

"Trust me, Aoba," whispered Noiz into Aoba's ears, which he was pretty sure the now-asleep Aoba will not hear.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One month. Nothing much had changed. Aoba started to visit Noiz every day after he got hold of his address with different kind of new food. Today was another one of those days where Aoba decided to rush home, grabbed the nicely-packed box of home-cooked donuts from the kitchen table, and ran out of the house down to the street leading to Noiz's apartment. He knew Noiz loved Tae’s donuts, that was why he purposely requested his grandma to make some for him today. 

Unable to hide his beam, Aoba rushed up the doorsteps and knocked on the door. 

Then, he waited, trying to stop himself from widening his grin further when he imagined the reaction he will get from Noiz. He waited. And waited. But there was no response. Weird.

"Noiz? Are you in there?" The beam started to fade and Aoba's mood slowly changed from being excited to worried. 

Aoba continued knocking. From politely to fiercely. Then he knew, Noiz was not there. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The time showed 6.00 p.m. Another half an hour to board the flight. Noiz glanced at the entranceway. It was not that he was expecting him to turn up, but maybe - just maybe - he unconsciously wished that he could see him again before he left. This would take a long time. But even so, he had taken a long time to make this decision. And he believed that it was what he needed to do. 

He glanced at his coil again, unable to stop the racing of his mind. He admitted he still felt a bit insecure. He was, after all, unsure of how things will change and how much they will change. He had no control over things like that. And he was not sure if he can deal with the circumstances. 

15 minutes to boarding. Noiz did a final check of his luggage and started heading towards the boarding hall. He stopped and looked back at the entranceway again, but then decided to shake his hesitance off and kept walking, until a familiar ringtone stopped his track.

Fighting the urge to pick up the call was perhaps one of the hardest things he had to deal with in his entire life. He felt a prick in his heart when he saw the name on his coil disappeared as the call got cut off. He immediately felt a slight hint of regret, thinking that that could be his only and last chance to talk to Aoba. 

The announcer was already urging passengers to board the plane. Noiz hesitated for a while, then he switched his coil off. While he walked towards the boarding gate, he left everything behind, except for the strong faith he held on towards the decision he made, and Aoba.


	3. Linger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoba needed time, and there was no way to rush things at this point of time. And plus, this was something only Aoba can resolve, no matter how much people around him wanted to lend him a hand.
> 
> Aoba POV.

“Wel---“

Aoba’s words came to a halt when he realized the “customer” walking into the shop was his boss. It had been a month since Noiz’s disappearance and although Aoba hated to admit it, the sense of lost still lingered. He did not expect this to hit him so hard. When things got a tougher, he even had to start reminding himself that he and Noiz have not met each other for too long. They did not even have a smooth start. It was a disaster when they first met. Aoba chuckled when he thought of the first time they met each other. Technically, their first acquaintance was in the Rhyme Field, but that was a bit surreal for Aoba because he did not know it was Noiz in that big-headed bunny mascot.

It’s happening again. Whenever Aoba tried to get Noiz off his mind, he will involuntarily start reminiscing about the things they had gone through together. Be it good or bad, these are things which Aoba keeps close to his heart. He never thought that someone like Noiz will impact him in such a strong way. But it does, and his disappearance solidifies his feelings. _He misses the brat_.

“Aoba-kun? Are you okay?”

Haga-san’s concerned words bring Aoba brought from his realm of thoughts. He quickly reformed his bright smile and straightened himself.

“Sorry, Haga-san. I spaced out a little. But I’m okay, don’t worry.”

“I think you should take the day off earlier today.”

“No, no! It’s really okay. Don’t worry about it. I will be fine.” Aoba quickly rejected the offer. The last thing he wanted is to trouble people around him. And judging from his performance on that day, he was clearly making things worse. He slapped himself on the face and quickly tried to readjust his mood back to work.

Haga-san is still concerned, but he understands that Aoba needed time – _alone_ – to organize his thoughts and feelings. So at times like this, he always respects Aoba’s decisions. Even when Aoba got distracted frequently – the number of him spacing out increased throughout time – he closed one eye and allowed him to be. He needed time, and there was no way to rush things at this point of time. And plus, this was something only Aoba can resolve, no matter how much people around him wanted to lend him a hand.

In the end, Aoba left Heibon on time and strolled to the street. Midorijima is a lot more peaceful now. Everyone has regained their usual lifestyle, some even doing better. The Rhyme trend has cooled down, and Libs are gaining the upper hands in the district once again. But most of the Lib groups are now bearing great responsibility as peacekeepers of the district. The police team needed some time to reorganize themselves internally, so the Lib teams are assisting them with peacekeeping for the time being. When Aoba walked along the familiar streets, it relieved him seeing everyone being happy and the fact that the Lib teams are blending in well with the residents in Midorijima only suggested that the island is becoming a better place to live in.

Night was falling when Aoba’s footsteps guided him along the road he’s already too familiar with. It’s almost becoming a form of automatic thinking for Aoba. He hummed to his music lightly while he made his way towards his destination. He felt surprisingly relaxed, though he was still trying very hard not to think too much about those unanswered questions still rummaging his thoughts. But the moment he stood outside that all-too-familiar building, he knows he can no longer escape from the overwhelming rush of emotions that have been desperately trying to break free ever since he was attacked by old memories earlier in Heibon.

One month ago, things were still fine. Aoba looked up and immediately found the window that used to belong to an owner who didn't even care about his daily lifestyle and eating habits. The pizza delivery man must be very familiar with this place too. Aoba can no longer comprehend his own actions. Perhaps traces of hope are still lingering in him. Perhaps, if he is to come back here every day, he will finally get to see what he is hoping to see. But the apartment is already occupied by someone else. Aoba found out about this when he was trying to break into the place (again) and came face-to-face with a furious, grumpy old lady who seemed like a person who has never experienced happiness before. He was lucky the woman did not chase him away with a broom but he knows if he is not careful, she might actually do so.

Honestly, he felt a bit lonely when he realized he can no longer spend his time in the empty room. He can even think about the things Noiz usually do when he was still residing here. Aoba would always smile a little when he thought about that. Noiz is not hard to figure. He would probably play with his keyboards, tampering with more Usagimodokis, or simply sits down somewhere in the corner while he indulges in his mountain of pizza and pasta. At least he had shelter, unlike now, which he will usually find his usual comfort spot on the doorsteps and sits there. Lucky for him, the weather is quite good today. No cloudy skies, no rain. Perfect for a campout.

He allowed his thoughts to wander for a bit until his Coil alarm signalled him the time for a meet-up with old buddies. He buried his head into his palms and sighed lightly.

“ _But you promised…_ ”

Those were the only words Aoba managed to force out of his mouth before he left the place, again.

 

 

* * *

 

Both Koujaku and Mizuki were already sitting comfortably at their usual spot when Aoba stepped into the Dry Juice base. When they saw Aoba, they waved at him, directing him to go over. Aoba tried to force a natural smile and walked over to them. The Dry Juice base was very packed with people, and Aoba is more than happy to see reviving lives of the Lib team though they had to go through some traumatic break downs. On top of all, he is happy to see Mizuki’s speed recovery, though he still feels a slight bit of guilt lingering in him.

“How was work, Aoba?”

Koujaku started off the conversation, as usual. Koujaku is always trying very hard to distract Aoba. He is very aware of Aoba’s unusual mood swing ever since Noiz disappears. At first, he was unsure if he should be feeling bad for Aoba or happy for him since the brat is already out of his way. To be honest, Koujaku does not particularly hate the brat. He can’t describe how he feels towards him but in the end of the day he decided that he should dislike him anyway because of the situation he put Aoba in.

“It was quite well,” Aoba replied simply, sipping on the juice Mizuki has ordered for him before he came.

The conversation ended abruptly and both Koujaku and Mizuki shot each other with uneasy looks. It had been tough to strike a conversation with Aoba nowadays because they were so afraid that they might hit the magic word and cause Aoba to go all emotional again. But Aoba looked pretty fine today, though still quieter than usual.

When both of them were contemplating for the next sentence, Aoba broke the awkwardness.

“Is Rhyme completely gone?”

The question caught both Koujaku and Mizuki off-guard as they struggled to find the right answer. But both of them knew exactly which direction this heading. Aoba was on it again. It may happen unconsciously but still, it showed that Aoba was not over it yet. When no one answered, Aoba looked over at them. Aoba is not the type of person who knows how to hide his emotions well, thus when Koujaku saw his uneasy look the moment he turned over, his temper endurance dropped instantly.

“Listen here, Aoba, you need to get a grip of yourself. It has been a month and –“

“Koujaku.”

Mizuki shot Koujaku a warning stare but Koujaku ignored him and continued.

“—and you need to realize that he’s gone. The brat is gone. You need to continue on with your life.”

Aoba was slightly taken aback when he received an out-of-topic answer. He scowld and turned his back towards the both of them. Mizuki gave Koujaku a glare before he placed his hand around Aoba.

“Aoba, don’t blame Koujaku. He’s just worried about you.”

“I’m fine. I know what I’m doing.” Aoba replied, taking in another huge mouthful of his drink.

The conversation came to an abrupt halt again. None of them spoke. Aoba seemed like he was trying to drown himself with his drink. Once he’s finished with it, he ordered another glass of alcoholic drink from the bartender and started drinking again. No one noticed his behavior until Koujaku felt something heavy pushing its way to his left arm.

“Oi, Aoba?”

Aoba’s head was leaning on Koujaku’s arm. His eyes were half-opened and he kept giving out short hiccups.

“I think he’s drunk,” said Mizuki while he bend over to check out Aoba’s face, which is blushing red.

“Damn. We are supposed to look after him,” Koujaku cursed. “I will bring him home.”

He attempted to carry Aoba on his shoulder but Aoba struggled and he had no choice but to put him back down again.

“….iz..”

Aoba rested his head on the bar counter, his eyes closed. But Koujaku sweared he heard him muttering.

“Aoba? Are you awake?” Koujaku shaked Aoba gently but to no avail.

“Koujaku, he’s crying.”

“What?”

Koujaku bend over and yeah, Mizuki is right. There were silent tears streaming down Aoba’s face while he continued muttering.

It was hard to capture the exact words Aoba was muttering but both Koujaku and Mizuki can still make out some of the words clearly because they were too obvious.

 

“ _Noiz….why…? ….Brat….._ ”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next time Aoba opened his eyes he was staring at his own ceiling. Koujaku – after much hard effort – managed to carry him home. Tae showed them an unpleasant expression when she saw the state Aoba was in; but her face softened the moment she saw the tracks of dried tears on Aoba’s face when Koujaku placed him gently on his own bed. Koujaku has apologized to Tae, though Tae insisted that it wasn’t his fault to begin with.

Aoba continued staring at his bedroom ceiling for a whole minute before he rolled to his side. His head was throbbing but the throbs were unlike the time when he can still perform Scrap. He knew these throbs were only temporary. They will be gone soon. But the emptiness he felt in his heart will still exist tomorrow, and day after tomorrow, and the following day too. Aoba searched around his bag – which Koujaku has placed on his bedside table along with a sleeping Ren – for his Coil and scrolled down his contact list until he found the name he had been looking for. This is also something he does on a daily basis now. The call went through but there was no answer. Aoba was not even sure if Noiz was still using this number. His whole existence just disappeared, leaving no trace behind, at all. Sometimes Aoba even started suspecting if he was having a dream about the whole incident when he sinks too deep into his thoughts.

He hanged the call once he got the usual cut off. He rolled in his bed, allowing himself to drift off to sleep while he wondered if Noiz is still playing Rhyme somewhere, or if he is still having pizza and pasta as his daily meal.


	4. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He still remembered his overwhelming determination and promise he made to himself when he left. He was young, and he had every reason to leave a place which will only bring despairs to him. But now, he found himself landing in a similar yet different situation.

Noiz stepped out of the airport, breathing in the annoyingly familiar foreign air that he had not been in touch with for years. The contrasting atmosphere did not contribute to any sentimental value to him; rather, the thought of having to set foot on this land again irked him greatly. He still remembered his overwhelming determination and promise he made to himself when he left. He was young, and he had every reason to leave a place which didn't serve him any good. But now, he found himself landing in a similar yet different situation.

The ride to his house felt forever. Noiz was not particularly concerned with the fact that he had to face his parents again. He was more concerned with the outcome of this reunion. It was not part of his concern even if the parents decided not to take him in again or even if they did not want to look him in the eyes anymore. Thus, when the door was opened and when he was greeted by a pair of shocked-looking couple, he had less to no intention to cover up his reluctance to be standing in front of them again.

At first, the atmosphere was extremely awkward. The parents stood frozen in the doorway, struggling to find the right words to say to their long-forgotten son. Noiz decided to break the silence with a cold “I’m back. But I won’t stay for long” while he tried to ignore the relieved faces of his parents when they heard his last sentence. There was no sign of his brother anywhere, so Noiz assumed that he was still at work. He was brought to an empty guest room on the second floor, in which he dropped off his luggage and started loosening his tie. He was dressed in a simple suit, presuming that it was important for him to dress up in a more appropriate way if he is to have a provocative discourse with people who perceived him to be non-existing. Besides, he also considered this as part of his strategy to increase the chances of success for his plan.  This plan is important for him. He cannot withstand the thought of failing this.

Deciding that his brother was the only person he needed to deal with and that he had no business with his parents, Noiz made his way to his former “castle”. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to have a look at this unpleasant place again but as he walked along the hallway, he was convinced that it was about time for him to face his past fear if he intended to move forward in life. He figured this was necessary for him to face in order to make another person happy, and for _that person_ , he wouldn't mind risking the chance.

Noiz was slightly surprised to see the room being left in the exact state it was before he left the place. He thought the parents would take care of the room once he escaped but it seemed that they were too disgusted to set another foot into the place. Thick layers of dust covered every surface of the furniture; the stuffed animals were left untouched, scattered around the room; and the empty cage that once belonged to his only “friend” was left abandoned in one corner. The room still gave out a gloomy mood and the huge gush of memories rushing into him started making him feel extremely uncomfortable. His footsteps heading towards the hallway came to a halt when he spotted something from his corner of his eye, catching his attention immediately. _His diary_.

The diary lied opened, faced-down, under the piles of scribbled papers. That diary was his _friend_. When he lost his pet rabbit, he had no one to converse with. His diary writing habit was developed when he started picking up various languages from the Internet. Initially, the diary was used for note-jotting; then, he started to pour in his own thoughts and feelings. The more Noiz flipped through the yellowing pages of the diary, the more infuriated he felt. He was reminded of how lonely and how desperate he was craving for his family’s attention and as time went by, the deleterious emotions in him turned numb. He reached the last page of the diary and was reminded again that the final straw dropped on him when he overheard his parent’s conversation right outside his room, stating that they never wanted him as their child.

 

_Can I give up now?_

_Can I sleep now?_

_Can I not wake up any more?_

_Is it okay to stop trying so hard?_

 

Noiz slammed the book shut and threw it to the floor. He had this burning urge to put the pile of papers on fire but before he can put his thoughts into actions, a bright voice reached his ears.

“Noiz! Oh my God, Noiz!”

Noiz didn’t have the time to turn around because the next thing he knew, he was being hugged firmly from behind, loud laughter ringing beside his ears.

It took him a while to struggle out of that strong hug and he finally came face-to-face with a face which bears similar features as his. Not much conviction was needed for Noiz to confirm that the person smiling broadly in front of him was indeed someone related to him. Noiz’s brother was very identical to him in terms of appearance. He was slightly taller than his brother, and the vibes they gave out were the only thing that set them apart.

 

* * *

 

Dinner was extremely awkward, slightly tensed. Honestly, Noiz could not remember the last time he had dinner on the same table with his family. They were served with luxurious food: Hendl, Kartoffelsalat, Pelllkartoffeln, Rouladen, and some other dishes that Noiz did not bother to remember. These dishes are foreign to him, and he did not have the intention or the curiosity to find out about their names. He merely tasted a little of each dish and retreated back composedly, sipping on the glass of wine the house maid reloaded for him.

No one said a word.

Except him.

“Noiz, you could’ve contacted us. We were so worried about you!”

_We? Jokes._

Noiz sneered at his statements. He could not decide if the brother was oblivious or if he was just insensitive towards the complication of their family matters. Perhaps the only thing that still kept Noiz in his seat was the apparent cheerfulness reflected by the brother, who relentlessly glimpsed at Noiz when he spoke.

“What do you want?”

It sounded almost like an interrogation. Noiz swallowed his last sip of wine and looked up to his father, who – finally – was looking directly at him.

“Don’t worry. I’m not here to take over your business or to demand for anything,” said Noiz in a cold yet stern manner. “I’m just dropping by to see if he’s doing well.”

Noiz beamed at his brother. The brother returned him with a bright smile.

Though the parents didn’t appear to be convinced, they let it passed without a single word. The fact that both of Noiz’s parents were unable to carry out a simple conversation with their son was so hilarious it was almost comical.

“Do you plan to stay here permanently, Noiz?”

“Yeah. That’s my intention.”

“Why don’t you stay with us?”

Noiz almost laughed out loud when he saw the expressions on the parent’s faces. He suppressed that laughing urge and said in a composed way, trying hard not to conclude that perhaps the brother was really air headed.

“I will have to turn down that,” said Noiz casually. “I intend to reside by myself. Besides, the main reason why I’m here today is because I wanted to prepare for a better life instead of having to rely on you.”

“Ahh, I see,” The brother’s disappointment was apparent but the next second, the disappointment was quickly replaced by a hopeful one. “Maybe you can help me out with my company!”

The atmosphere in the room froze instantly. The parents looked at the brother in disbelief; while Noiz shot him a stunned look.

“I mean, it’s the peak period now and it would be great for someone to help me out. On top of that, it’s you, Noiz, I couldn’t ask for a better helper!”

“Are you sure about this? You barely know him and you are offering him a position in the company?”

This time, the mother voiced out before Noiz could say anything, her voice urgent and nervous.

“What are you talking about, mother? Noiz is my brother. Of course it’s okay!”

Instantly, Noiz felt a warm feeling pooling into him. _Noiz is my brother_. The brother’s voice was confident and certain. Though Noiz hated to admit it, the mother was right. He never had the chance to interact much with the brother, and yet, the brother trusted him enough to offer him a job in a prestigious company.

“If Noiz is okay, I’m fine with it too.” The brother continued.

Noiz was speechless. Everyone’s eyes were on him. His mind was racing. But then…

“Thank you. I will accept the offer then.”

He would never forget the brother's expression when he gave him the yes.

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay the night?”

Both Noiz and the brother stood at the doorway. Noiz had headed straight to the guest room, grabbed his luggage, and walked straight out of the house right after he was done with his dinner. The brother had chased after him right before he stepped out of house.

“It’s fine. I’m renting an apartment in town. Need to look around as well.”

“Do you need help navigating around the place?”

Noiz found the brother to be truly amusing. He wished he can spend more time with the brother. He was the only other person who was genuinely concern about him besides Aoba. The thought of Aoba sent pricks to his heart and he fell silent for few seconds before he replied the brother.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” He tried to give the brother a convincing smile but he presumed he may have failed because the brother gave him a worrying look upon hearing that.

“I see.” The brother gave him a complicated look before he rummaged his pants pocket, drawing out a piece of paper and a pen. “I'll give you my number. Call me when you need help.”

Noiz stared at the neat handwriting on the piece of paper before he took it. The brother started to remind him of Aoba. The persistent Aoba who was often overly anxious, never allowing him to leave his sight. He smiled slightly to that thought, earning another curious stare from the brother.

“Thanks. I'll remember this,” said Noiz, waving the piece of paper in his hand. “Thank you.”

“You said that twice,” the brother chuckled.

“Ah, yeah. Sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologize! You're so funny, Noiz.”

They laughed a bit, instantly alleviated the dim atmosphere. Before he left, Noiz gave his brother a firm handshake, but the brother pulled him into a strong hug instead.

“I really hope I'll see you again.”

“You will. And thanks again.”

“I’ve heard that the first time.”

“No,” cleared Noiz, pulling away from the hug. “I need to thank you. This is for the trust you had in me for the longest time I can remember. You were there when no one was, and I need to thank you because without you, I won’t be able to survive those miserable years. Thanks.”

The brother’s eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly broke into a smile.

“Of course I trust you. You're my brother. I admire you a lot. You're strong, and I wanted to be like you. I’m so glad you are back.”

The pathway leading to the main entrance was long and empty. Noiz left the house after assuring his brother for the millionth time that he would meet him again to discuss about his placement in the company. He was pretty sure he would never return to this house again. Well, maybe.

 

* * *

 

The apartment Noiz rented was located in the center of the town. He almost regretted choosing the place because of the noises right outside of his window when what he needed most now was a moment of peace and quiet. Aggressively shutting all the windows in the room, he settled down his luggage and started to undress. He rustled around his luggage for his clothes and suddenly, his Coil rang, with its ringtone Noiz was too familiar with. He waited – again- for the call to be cut off and opened up the hologram screen.

 

_Aoba._

 

It was an everyday routine. Aoba would call every single day. But Noiz never picked them up. He was tempted to change a new Coil but the thought of breaking lines with Aoba hurt him too much so he decided to just live with it. At least with these everyday calls, he knew that Aoba was still well and hopeful. Perhaps the calls will stop one day, but Noiz trusted Aoba. He just needed time.

Half-naked with only a piece of towel wrapping his lower half, Noiz sat at the corner of his bed looking blankly at the dimmed hologram screen. He opened up his inbox and – once again – typed messages that he will never sent to the intended recipient.

_Wait for me, Aoba._


	5. Reassurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His mood was terrible when he woke up. But maybe, he silently mumbled to himself, maybe something good will happen today. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the finale! *cheers* I can't believe it took me two months to write this piece because my initial plan was to write a short one for each chapter, and eventually, I got carried away and it got longer, and longer, and longer. (oops) But I am glad I finally managed to finish it :D 
> 
> The inspiration came to me a looooong time ago but I never had the motivation to write them down until September. It was a long ride, a tough one. I got very paranoid at times thinking if I got all the facts right and if I missed out any important parts or if I created more plot holes -sweats - It was tough to write because writing your OTP being sad and depressed is never a good thing and I was trying very hard to not simplify details too much (I hope I managed to grasp the core orz). 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the fic (though the update is very slow, I apologize for that). I also hope that Noiz & Aoba will always stay happy (they will) and yes, they will overcome anything. Three months? Nah, small deal :)
> 
>  
> 
> p/s: Self-beta'd. I apologize for mistakes ^^;;

 

Aoba glanced at the clock on his bedside table. The time showed 6:00 a.m. He shrugged and rolled sideways, pulling the blanket over his head. It had been three months since Noiz’s disappearance – no news, no messages, no phone calls. Aoba had been living his life as though what happened between him and Noiz were merely dreams. He felt slightly better compared to the first two months of his disappearance but he still found himself scrolling through his contact list and resisting the urge to hit the call button whenever he found the name he was looking for. He also realized that he had become extra sensitive to any mentions of “noise”, “Rhyme”, or even “rabbits”. Any glimpse of green will make him run breathlessly towards it only to be disappointed again.

Sometimes he finds himself having sleeping difficulties, like today. He went to bed early but ended up staring at the ceiling, unable to stop his mind from playing strips of old, nostalgic memories and different possible scenes that may had occurred at a place he didn’t know. He can’t stop himself from thinking about what Noiz was doing at that moment. Though the thoughts have stopped bringing tears to him, he still felt a swelling pain in his chest whenever he thought of the brat.

The alarm clock finally rang after an hour. Aoba climbed out of his bed reluctantly and headed out of his room to prepare for work.

It’s a good day today, Aoba thought as he walked out of the house. The weather was great too. Clear sky and warm sunlight with occasional breeze. If only his mood was better it would be perfect. Aoba hummed to his music while he walked along the streets, waving occasionally to acquaintances, and bought himself some cookies to munch during work 

His mood was terrible when he woke up. But maybe, he silently mumbled to himself, maybe something good will happen today. _Maybe_.

 

* * *

 

“You mean he was here every day?”

“How many times do you need me to repeat myself? Do you not understand Japanese?" 

Noiz smiled gently at the grumpy-looking old lady in front of him, who had been reluctant to talk to him ever since he knocked on her door.

“How long was it since he stopped visiting?”

“I don’t know, since one month ago, maybe? I don’t have time to remember things like that,” the old lady snorted angrily. 

Noiz’s smile deepened. He bowed to the old lady and gave her a gentle kiss on the back of her hand before stepping away. The old lady gave another loud snort, mumbling about ‘young people these days not knowing any shame’, and slammed the door in his face.

Noiz had never felt more relieved stepping on a familiar land as how he first set his foot back in Midorijima. The place was shabbier-looking and less advanced than Germany, but it felt like home. Midorijima will always have a special place in his heart. It was the place where he experienced change, but most importantly, it was the place where he met Aoba. He wouldn’t mind continue staying here; in fact, he secretly hoped that he can reside here. It was where everything had started anyway. But in the same time, he wanted to provide a better life for Aoba, and he knew he could only do that in Germany. He had put a lot of considerations and hesitations into this decision way before he decided to leave Midorijima, but at the end of the day, the fact that anywhere will feel like home as long as Aoba is with him hit him hard, thus giving him a final push to execute his plan.

Noiz stood in front of his former resident for a few minutes before he strode off, taking rushed but composed steps to his destination. He didn’t know which made him more nervous – finally seeing Aoba, or Aoba’s reaction when he sees him, or even, Aoba’s current feelings towards him.

 

* * *

 

Aoba’s outline from the shop’s window was an overwhelming sight for Noiz. The dark circles under his eyes were obvious even from far. Three months felt like three years, or even longer. He can’t believe he overcame all the urges to give him a call, or a simple message. Now that he was standing not far away from the shop, he felt nervous, a bizarre feeling which he never experienced before. Aoba was so close, but, for the first time in his life, Noiz found himself flinched at the thought of finally meeting him. He tightened his grip on his fist, took a deep breath and opened up the hologram of his coil, strolling through the accumulated unsent messages he’d written for Aoba during his three months absence. The warm feeling of missing Aoba stroke him instantly, and he felt a sudden urge to just rush into the shop and grabbed Aoba for a long, deep kiss.

 

_“I miss you. I’m sorry for not contacting you. But trust me, I will be back.”_

_“I miss you, Aoba. How about you? Did you miss me?”_

He dismissed the hologram, feeling the ache inside him. The few steps bringing him to the shop felt extremely long. He stood in front of the shop, took another deep breath, and pushed the door open. Something bumped into him the moment he walked in. The little thing bounced back, almost falling to the ground if Noiz had not grabbed hold of it.

“I’m sorry!”

It was something, or rather, someone he knew. _Ahh, it’s good to be back_.

“It’s okay.”

Aoba’s stunned expression when their eyes met made Noiz felt another tinge of pain in his chest. He was looking at Noiz with a disbelief look, mouth slightly opened, gaping at him. Noiz swore he had to muster all the remaining control left in his nerve to stay composed. He would not want to shock Aoba by lunging at him suddenly. Is this how true happiness felt like? Noiz never know the feeling of happiness, but it didn’t matter to him anymore because at the moment he met eyes with Aoba, he decided to define his own happiness.

 

This rush of emotion he was feeling now is _his_ happiness;

To be able to see Aoba’s smile, that’s _his_ happiness;

This urge to pull Aoba into his arms is _his_ happiness;

And Aoba, above all, is _his_ best definition of happiness.

 

Noiz managed to squeeze out a genuine smile, and..

 

“Yo.”

 

* * *

 

On the way to Aoba’s house, Noiz naturally held his hand as they walked along the streets. Aoba was extremely hesitant with the idea, but the moment he felt Noiz’s firm grip and the warmth wrapping his hand, he lost the heart to swipe his hand off. Avoiding Noiz’s stare, he pretended to look around the place, as though this was the first time he set foot in the town. Aoba was still unable to digest Noiz’s new appearance. He thought Noiz’s former style was cute, but this new style made him looked smart, and more importantly, _mature_. Aoba’s blush deepened realizing the fact that his egoism was on the line now that Noiz had become more grown-up than him, appearance wise.

“You hadn’t changed at all,” Noiz murmured, pulling Aoba back from his incoherent thoughts.

“Well, _you_ changed,” Aoba replied, still averting Noiz’s gaze.

“Hmmmm,” Noiz hummed, thinking through the words Aoba threw at him. “Maybe?”

“ _Obviously_.” Aoba pouted, “You left without leaving any message. I didn’t know where you disappeared to. I didn’t know what you did. And suddenly, you walked into my shop as if nothing had happened telling me ‘Yo, I’m back. And I’m bringing you to Germany. Come with me.’. I feel like…” Aoba stopped and swallowed. “….like I don’t know you anymore. I…”

Noiz realized instantly what Aoba was trying to convey. He pulled him closer, wrapping his hand around his waist. The sudden intimacy stopped their track. Aoba was about to protest when Noiz whispered, “Are you angry?”

“Of course I am!”

Aoba had demonstrated his anger in the shop, and now that he was reminded again of what Noiz had done, he jumped and – finally – faced Noiz, breathing angrily at him.

“Do you have any idea how worried I was?! I thought you were kidnapped, or lost. Sometimes I thought you—“

“Died?”

Aoba’s scowl deepened. But Noiz had achieved his objective. Aoba was facing him properly now. The pouting face was filled with emotions, a mix of fury and worry.

“I went back to Germany, like I said. I found a job. And I bought us a house.”

Noiz started explaining everything he did during the past three months. Aoba listened through his whole clarification, mouth opened, overwhelmed by all the effort and money Noiz had thrown in to prepare them a new life in a new place.

“…and I’m still thinking if we should buy a car. I think we should. It would be more convenient for us to move around the place, and I’m also thinking of building a…”

“Wait, wait, wait, stop right there!”

Noiz tilted his head, words hanging in midair.

“Alright, alright. I know exactly what you did now. And that’s _a lot_. What if I said no? What if I refuse to follow you back? What are you going to do with all the stuff you bought?”

“You won’t,” Noiz replied almost immediately.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I know,” the reply was instant again.

Aoba looked at Noiz astonishingly. He was acting like a brat again. It was one of those egotistical and immature moments of Noiz.

“Y-You couldn’t be sure. How would you know if I haven’t changed at all? We never talk to each other for months.”

“I believed in you.” Noiz stared straight into Aoba’s eyes, making Aoba felt as though he was looking straight into his soul. “Do you believe in me?”

“I..”

Noiz was still staring at him, waiting for an answer. Aoba knew how honest and straightforward Noiz can be. It was one part of Noiz which he liked best. But when he voiced his feelings in such a sincere way, Aoba felt pressured. He understood exactly how he felt towards Noiz, but he had his doubts, not about his own feelings, but about him as a person. He knew Noiz had changed into a more responsible person. He was genuinely happy for him. But he hadn’t changed at all, and that fact has started sinking into him. _He wasn’t sure if he was the right person for Noiz_.

“Hm?” Noiz hummed, pestering him for an answer.

“I-I’m not sure, if..this is the right decision,”

“Of what?”

“I mean, it’s possible, you know, for me to say no. I might have found someone else. Or I might have moved somewhere else. Or I simply just don’t have the feelings to you any—“

Aoba’s words were cut short because the next second, Noiz was forcefully grabbing his wrist, leading him to a nearby alley. Noiz pressed him to the wall and started kissing him on the neck. Aoba shivered the moment he felt Noiz’s soft lips on his skin. It had been too long since he had such intimate contact with someone else. Noiz pressed his lips softly onto Aoba’s smooth, slender neck, licking the part where he kissed, tasting the saltiness of Aoba’s sweat. Aoba tried to push him away but to no avail. He had been yearning for Noiz – both emotionally and physically – for months and the fact that Noiz was giving him what he desired – even just a little bit – he simply did not have enough self control to resist him.

Aoba was obviously trying to stifle his moan because Noiz could feel the vibration on his throat when he kissed a mouthful of it, doing the same as he did for his neck. He planted light kisses on the other side of his neck and slowly moved up to his cheek, then finally, his lips, which he pecked and licked before he let him go.

Aoba was breathing heavily, but the short physical contact was not enough to make him lose his mind. Noiz looked at him for a few seconds, taking in the sight of his flustered expression which was now a mixed of embarrassment and frustration. Then, before Aoba can say anything, he pulled him into a firm hug. He buried his head in Aoba’s shoulder and murmured: “I trust you. I always do. I trust you will wait for me. It was hard, Aoba. It was very hard for me to not contact you at all. I had my fears. I have thought that maybe you will find someone else. But I trust you. Because you are the one who’s going to teach me more things about the world, right? You promised. And I trusted you.”

Aoba was almost on the verge of tears hearing Noiz’s sincere confession. He returned his hug and placed his hand on Noiz’s head, pulling his head closer. It was the same when they were in Platinum Jail. Aoba was the one who told Noiz about the world; he was the one who reassured Noiz that the world is not as bad as he think it is. He smiled as he realized how serious Noiz took his words.

“I’m sorry.” Aoba muttered. “I promised. And I will make sure I will be with you when you are out there exploring your world. I’m sorry I sounded insecure back there. I’m sorry, Noiz.”

They stayed like that for a few moments. Aoba’s mind has become more coherent now that Noiz cleared his doubts. He realized that Noiz was, in fact, the same as him.  He was feeling insecure about how things will go on from now, but then he realized that Noiz also had his own insecurity. He might look more grown-up now, but deep down, he was still a brat – an inexperienced, immature, but talented and hopeful brat.

When they finally reached Aoba’s house, Noiz stood frozen at the doorway while he heard the footsteps of Tae rushing out of the kitchen after Aoba called out to her. Aoba firmed his grip on Noiz’s hand when Tae appeared in front the both of them, looking both shocked and confused when she saw Noiz.

“Baa-chan,” Noiz’s voice was trembling a little but it was firm and sure.

 

“ _I have a favor to ask._ ”


End file.
